The Search for Third Spaces in America
No matter what arrondissement you live in Paris, you are guaranteed to have a multitude of cafes in your neighborhood. In Paris, cafes are a cultural institution where people gather to take time for themselves, family, and friends. You grab a drink, maybe order a bite to eat, and enjoy the space as time passes. Some Parisians visit the same cafe for their entire life. "I've lived above a cafe for 10 years and I often see the same people every time I pass," Says Lynn Burgos, an expat from New York, living in Paris. "One of my neighbors has lived in our building for 30 years and he’s been going to the cafe downstairs the entire time, multiple times a week. He saw it go through two new ownerships. People like to stay in their quartiers and are loyal to their cafes." For many Parisians, the cafe is their chosen third space — a sociology term meaning a place outside of work and home.
In Paris, spending time at a cafe is a sacred practice shared by many. There are unspoken rules to the cafe; lingering isn't just allowed — it's encouraged. One order is enough to stay as long as you like. Naturally, it makes us think about the American counterpart.
A cafe or coffee shop in the US is a different scene. Seating can be limited, the mobile order counter is being visited by people picking up their drinks, coming in and out at all times. Oftentimes, people who sit are working on their laptops with headphones in. These establishments are designed for efficiency, not leisure.
Karina Bucy, a first-year abroad discusses her thoughts on the differences between cafes in LA versus Paris.
"In the States, it's just not that comfortable if that makes sense. You kind of just sit there and there's so many things going on around you. Like if you go sit at a coffee shop, there's always baristas yelling the orders or something. It's different because Paris is more calm in the sense that you're able to relax and interact with people without feeling weird or rushed. It feels like everyone's constantly doing something in LA, no one is just sitting down. And so it's just not like a pleasant environment. And my friends and I are like, okay. Like, why are we here? Why don't we just grab our coffee, then move somewhere else?"
Cafe culture in the states is noticeably different, and users on TikTok make videos trying to recreate the cafe experience that they miss from their time spent in Europe.
@zachary_abroad It’s just like I’m back in Lisbon 🥰 #cafe #europe #traveltok #expat ♬ WTHELLY - Rob49
These videos usually include sipping coffee at an empty seating area outside and panning to a busy intersection or parking lot. They reveal a desire for a third space that American culture and infrastructure doesn't give room for.
committed to the bit
@thatgolfcouple Close enough #europe #fyp #foryou ♬ Dolce Nonna - Wayne Jones & Amy Hayashi-Jones
Bucy says, "Having to drive wherever you go is a reality for most of America which is a big difference and explains why it feels different, but I feel like the kind of “rushed” vibe is still there even in places like New York where driving is less important"
The desire many Americans share for a third space or something similar can be seen as a reflection on the work-life balance and the fast-paced energy that we uphold. This is felt through our reliance on cars and layouts of suburban areas. The difference in the ambiance of cafes in Paris and the US comes as a surprise to Americans visiting since it feels so foreign to many.
In the US, cafes are businesses rather than community fixtures. While third spaces are hard to sustain in the states, the desire for them suggests they may emerge in new forms in the future.
