The Batman Movie: AUP's Hot Take

Image Credit: Oscar Padula
AUP students offer their reviews on the newly released Batman

The Batman, directed by Matt Reeves, is stirring mixed reactions amongst students. Everywhere you go: the Amex Cafe, the Grenelle basement or the PL bathroom, you will hear students talking about the new interpretation of DC comics dark vigilante. Here is what AUP has to say:

“Are Batman and Bruce Wayne the same person? That makes a lot of sense. The whole time I kept saying to myself ‘Batman looks a lot like Bruce Wayne, who could he be?’”

“I thought Robert Patterson butchered Bruce Wayne, for one thing they never discussed his vampire roots. It's frankly insulting.”

“I came in expecting a quiet documentary on the life of a man devoted to the restoration of endangered bat species and left very confused. Was this a fiction movie? I was lost the whole time.”

"I went in excited to see the Batman film, but accidentally purchased the wrong ticket and ended watching some French film about middle age couples running into the ocean naked, drinking wine and talking about philosophy, I didn’t care for it, but then again I don’t speak French.”

Image Cedit: Oscar Padula

 

“This movie was really good. I saw it at Les Halles UGC. Wow. I really like how the film included audio and moving pictures. This isn’t mere footage of a train leaving a station, this shows bats and people doing stuff. As a film major, I appreciate that. The best part is that it is all in color. If I wasn’t color blind I would be thrilled.”

“I give this movie two thumbs sideways. The movie was supposed to tell me about Batman, but it began with a bunch of little movies the guy beside me called ‘trailers.' I was like ‘what does this have to do with Batman?’ The whole movie confused me. To be fair, I did step out to the bathroom for the first thirty minutes to take a quick nap. When I got back people did not appreciate when I yelled ‘I don’t understand’ aloud for the rest of the film.”

"I’m surprised how aroused I was by the Penguin. What a cutie!”

“Batman was surprisingly pleasant. Ben Affleck somehow managed to become younger looking and a better actor.”

“I was really annoyed by the scene when Zoe Kravitz returns to her apartment to find that her apartment has been broken into and her friend is missing. Her apartment is a mess, and her refrigerator is left wide open, but she never bothers to close it. She wastes so much electricity, why wouldn’t she close the fridge door immediately. Not only does she leave it open, she takes a carton of milk from the fridge that has been left at room temperature and drinks it.”

Image Credit: Oscar Padula

 

“I wish there was a scene in which they explained how the Riddler learned so many riddles. Maybe a scene where we see him memorizing riddles from a book. I would have enjoyed that scene. I also would have enjoyed an egg-salad sandwich when I was watching the movie, but I digress.”

‘I did not appreciate the negative message the movie took against old rich white men. As an AUP student from California, I felt like this is a direct attack against my family. We have all types in orange county. And guess what, I only received one tiffany ring, so take that.”

“Typical Hollywood movie hiring a white male actor to play the role of a bat. It's disgusting how little actual bat representation is in this film.”

“Milk, milk lemonade, round the corner the Batman movie was made.”

“Batman was so bad. Right before the movie started my boyfriend, seated next to me, said he wanted to see other people; then he walked to a different seat with another girl. I was impressed with his coordination, but still.”

“I liked the movie. I broke up with my girlfriend, then watched the movie with a date. So much fun.”

Written by Oscar Padula

"I am the walrus" --Lennon/McCartney