From Competition to Community

AUP Dance has historically attracted performers with diverse dance backgrounds, ranging from pre-professional ballet and commercialized dance to beginners with no dance experience prior to their membership. It is this unique dynamic working simultaneously with the efforts of the company leadership that has created a community that fosters healing and family-like connections.

This serves as a stark contrast from previous dance communities embedded in the members of AUP dance. Lilly Mildenberger, a senior studying psychology at AUP, is one of the three captains of AUP Dance Company. At three years old, she began dancing in her home city of Portland, Oregon, where her competitive dance career started not long after at the young age of nine. Dance was Lilly's primary focus; she danced in an intense competitive studio while maintaining a high standard of academic excellence. As she grew up, the demanding environment and rigorous schedule became draining. She felt a loss for the passion that once fueled her desire to dance. The exhaustion took a severe toll. Lilly found herself falling asleep in class and even at the wheel. Dancing twenty hours of practice each week left no time for recovery and her body began to deteriorate. By her senior year, she knew she needed a break from dance altogether.

Lilly apprehensively joined AUP Dance Company in her third year of studies. She first attempted to return to dancing during her freshman year of university: "It had been three months since I had stopped and I wanted to go back and see how I was feeling." However, after just one rehearsal, she couldn't bring herself to return. "Our captain was reaching out to me, she really wanted me to join but I kind of closed off and got very avoidant because it reminded me so much of the expectations I had as a dancer in high school competing." It would take two more years before she felt ready to give the art form she loved so dearly another chance.

Now, in her second year with the company, Lilly holds a captain role and is an integral part of what makes AUP Dance so vital. She, alongside all members of the student organization, makes an active effort to uphold a standard of compassion, respect and fun for the dancers involved. “We aren’t exclusive, we don’t hold auditions, we don’t make cuts, we don’t have a hierarchy in that sense. We don’t do spacing in dances based on who is the best. It puts so much less stress on dancers to have to be perfect” Lilly says.

Study abroad student, Isa Cano-Hoyos, joined AUP Dance for the Fall 2024 semester and shared this similar sentiment of discovering a new dance community. Having danced since they could walk, Isa was not unfamiliar with the convoluted world of competitive dancing: “Being in the competitive atmosphere can definitely affect your relationship with dance. I found myself getting very self-conscious about my dancing, body image, etc. Even though I loved dance, the spark I had for it was starting to die down. I didn’t really believe I had much talent and I found myself always comparing myself to other dancers” they said.

After encouragement from an AUP counselor, Isa joined AUP Dance in search of a dance community during their time in Paris. "It was probably the best recommendation I got that semester," they said. "I was able to find a community and explore more of myself as an artist in a beautiful space. It really helped me feel like I was a part of something and I was able to share what I love to do with other people who love the same thing."

During their time at AUP, Isa not only performed in multiple pieces but also choreographed two of their own. Like many who grew up in the competitive dance world, they had taken a step back from that intense community once they noticed their relationship with dance becoming unhealthy. AUP Dance offered a different environment: "Spaces like AUP Dance allow dancers to step away from the mold they are forced to fit into as competitive dancers," Isa explains. "AUP Dance is a space where you can allow your creativity to flow without the pressure of being a 'perfect' dancer." What truly set the experience apart for Isa was the supportive atmosphere. "Most importantly it's a community instead of a competitive atmosphere which makes a world of difference. It helps create a bond between people and really allows me to grow and trust myself more as a dancer, artist and person overall."

Lilly and Isa are two among many dancers who have regained their passion for dance in the AUP Dance Company. The community, student choreography and opportunity to perform all provide necessary experiences for those who came from such intense backgrounds. AUP Dance gives all an opportunity to explore and create as artists, whether for the first time or again in a more positive light.

Lilly expresses how refreshing it is to be a part of a group that doesn’t put perfection over everything else: "AUP Dance is more about the essence of dance, not necessarily having perfect technique or perfect timing, placement or synchronization. That is a concern, but it's not our first concern" she says.

The transformative power of AUP Dance lies not just in its performances, but in its fundamental reimagining of what a dance community can be. In contrast to the competitive environments that left dancers like Lilly and Isa struggling with burnout and self-doubt, AUP Dance has created a nurturing space where artistic expression flourishes without the weight of perfectionism.

The company's inclusive philosophy, welcoming dancers of all skill levels and backgrounds, has proven that excellence in dance doesn't require sacrificing joy or well-being. For dancers coming from competitive dance, it offers a path to rediscovery and healing. For newcomers, it provides a supportive environment to explore movement without judgment. Through student choreography, collaborative performances and a culture of mutual support, AUP Dance demonstrates that dancers thrive when the pressure to be perfect is replaced with the freedom to be authentic and create.