Apr 8th, 2024, 12:00 PM

Breakup Recovery Guide

By Bettina Levente
Image Credit: Bettina Levente
How to move on and reinvent yourself after a heartbreak

Going through a breakup is never easy for anyone. It’s an overwhelming and challenging time where we encounter many changes and difficulties. Let's face it: some things just aren’t meant to be. First and foremost, we need to accept the situation, wallow in it if need be, and start the healing process by dealing with the situation rather than denying it. But, don’t forget: pain doesn’t last forever. Just give it some time and focus on reinventing yourself.

Do you find these times of your life particularly challenging? Never ending? Painful? Let me share my tips on coming back stronger than ever and bettering yourself in every possible way.

Journal your thoughts:

This might seem like a cliché, but believe me, writing down your thoughts on a daily basis can bring such a positive change into your life. Writing down your thoughts, physically (with pen and paper, NOT on your laptop) is important. Be consistent and write a few lines every day, even if you think it’s something not worth writing down, I promise it is worth it. You don’t need to reveal major breakthroughs or solutions; simply write down how you feel, what affected your mood that day, some attractions, some things that are bothering you, or something you want to do differently tomorrow. While you jot your thoughts down, you might immediately see some things differently and come to a new realization.

You can journal as if you're talking to someone and pouring your heart and soul out; reflect on how you feel, make some discoveries about yourself, and don’t be afraid to write down whatever you feel or want. At the end of the day, it stays between you and your little notebook. In the future, you’ll be able to look back at your pages and see how far you’ve come.

Image Credit: Bettina Levente

Turn off your phone, turn a page in your book:

It’s been a huge game-changer for me to turn off my phone and shift my focus onto pages instead. Social media always displays one specific version of people's lives, oftentimes the best and most unrealistic version. Because of this, it's perfectly normal for you to get overwhelmed and think your life lacks something, but believe me, it doesn't. Take some time off and try to focus on building your mindset. Don’t overwhelm it with "idealized" pictures and stories; instead, focus on thinking positively, reading books and learning life lessons. So, turn off your phone, read a few pages before going to bed, and notice how your mind slows and calms down. Read something you enjoy and you'll see how you can learn from it.

Image Credit: Bettina Levente

Physical health = mental health:

When you feel tense and weighed-down, the best way to release some stress and anxiety is to tire yourself physically. When you move your body, your mind switches off. Our minds can overload with thoughts, and I find it best to channel our feelings into bodily movements. Train your body and let your mind rest. You’ll find that whatever you feel (anger, sadness, anxiety) can be better channeled into physical movement. I guarantee you will feel a lot better, refreshed, and unburdened from negative thoughts. If the gym isn't for you, I recommend going for a run (along the Seine is a great place for this!), a walk, meditating, or doing yoga and pilates. When doing these activities, make sure to turn off your phone's notifications to properly enjoy your "me time," away from distractions, so you are able to release those negative thoughts. Long walks can be emotional, but don't be afraid to let out any feelings that come your way. It's not the quantity and difficulty of the movement that you should focus on, but rather the quality and wellness it provides to your mind. Treat your body like a temple, and observe the healthy and positive changes that will carry you in a balanced direction.

Set new goals, not boundaries:

Relationships can take up so much time and energy in our lives; we focus on them so much that we may neglect ourselves and our passions. Now is the time to set goals and start checking off that to-do list. Do what makes you happy and what adds to your quality of life—don’t be afraid to aim high. This is an integral tip for repairing your relationship with yourself. Setting new goals helps you to become a better, stronger, and more ambitious version of yourself. Let go of those boundaries that held you back before, and start making the changes. No one else will do it for you. Whatever you want, you can get. This is the perfect time to put the absolute focus on what you want and what you need to do to live the life you always dreamed of.

Image Credit: Bettina Levente

Spend time with your loved ones:

It's important to remember that you're not alone. Connect with friends and spend time with your family. It's essential that whatever’s going on, you share it with people that love you. Don’t let it consume you. You need your friends' and family’s support; we all need help sometimes, so don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for it. The best thing about our loved ones is that we don’t need to hide any part of ourselves. Allow them to help and bring you joy. Don’t feel trapped; instead, go out and enjoy life.

Don’t be afraid to spend some time alone as well, embrace your happiness, and remember there is no single path to healing. Do what brings you joy and what motivates you. Be patient, and don’t rush the process. Everyone heals and copes in different ways. It takes longer for some than it does for others. Use this time to focus on self-improvement, and don’t get caught up in your past relationship. You risk losing something better if you don’t allow the past to fade. Keep your head up, stay strong, and become the best version of yourself. You will inevitably attract what is meant for you.