17 Ways You Know It’s Officially the Holidays
1. Netflix
Netflix is always chill. Their strategic placement of childhood, holiday classics consumes approximately three and half days of your month of December and reminds you how you loved Josh Hutcherson long before Peeta and District 12 were even a thing. #IHearTheBell
2. Starbucks
The holidays are officially here: pumpkin this, peppermint that. All you’ve got to know is that it’s hot, it’s good, and it’s most definitely caffeinated.
3. Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and All Those Other Days
You can never have enough flatscreen TVs. Right?
4. Lifetime Movies
You find yourself watching terrible, poorly made movies for days on end just to avoid an awkward, potentially political conversation with your great-uncle.
5. Being Cold Doesn't Put You in a Bad Mood
It’s the holidays; nothing can damper your spirits. The holidays without snow just isn’t right (hold the tears Californians and Floridians). But come January 2, snow will be the enemy once again.
6. Emails from Family
Your inbox is bombarded with messages that sound more like memorials, eulogies, newsletters, and sales pitches than holiday greetings. You spend more time trying to move family emails into spam so you never have to receive such a horror again than you do talking to them at Thanksgiving dinner.
7. Any Bad Outfit Can Be Made So Bad It's Good
All hail the wondrous ugly Christmas sweater. We’ve all got (at least) one. Those sparkly Christmas trees and fuzzy snowmen make an holiday hangover just that much cuter.
Image Credit: Ramsey Mohsen via Flickr
8. Free Booze
Great-aunt-something brings the good stuff, and plenty of it. All family drama is just that much more manageable with a few behind you. Santa has his elves; you have your red cups.
9. Studying Facebook
An unspeakable amount of hours are spent on Facebook creeping mutual friends in order to avoid awkward silences with that cousin who used to be your BFF back in middle school but now has 17 piercings.
10. Hanukkah
Jewish or Gentile, you’re hollering for challah and jamming with your dradle. Eight days of excellent food and candle lighting is pretty epic.
Image Credit: Scott via Flickr
11. Chrismakkuh
You’re American. You’re young. You owned a television in the mid-2000s. You know you love it. #SethCohen
12. Secret Santa
This means buying random cheap, thoughtless gifts off Amazon for that guy you sort of know. Amazon must be behind this tradition; it gives them too much business.
13. Eating Pants are the Only Pants
Cover the mirrors and hide the scales. Enjoy the holiday cheer one delicious bite at a time. Don't worry about the extra pounds – that's what yearly gym memberships and New Year’s resolutions are for.
14. Bank Accounts Deflate and Then Magically Reinflate
Just as soon as Black Friday, Singles Day, Cyber Monday, and the rest of the days of holiday season empty your bank accounts, a Christmas miracle appears and all your naughtiness disappears. Thank god for third-cousins, step-great-aunts, and American Express gift cards.
Image Credit: Shutter Fotos via Flickr
15. The Rat Pack is Your Squad
Taylor Swift and Amy Schumer have nothing on you. You’ve got Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis, Jr. serenading you 24/7.
16. Hugging it Out
Family, friends, people you should know that you don’t: you’re going to embrace each one of those warm bodies. You’ve been caught up in the holiday cheer and love every squeeze (or at least your face says that).
17. General Sense of Cheeriness
For a few days a year, your inner Grinch disappears and your heart grows three sizes in a day. Family is a virtue. Religious or not, the holidays do something special to all of us.