Living in Constant Fear

In the last past 5 years, the number of mass shootings in the United States has reached the thousands. I've lived in Florida, Puerto Rico, and now Paris. Nowhere have I felt as unsafe as in the U.S. 

As a woman of color, I faced multiple vulnerabilities—gender-based violence, systemic racism, and a culture that normalizes threats. These aren't just abstract concepts; I've witnessed a stabbing, witnessed two mass shootings in Florida, and endured countless moments of danger, keeping me in a constant state of high alert. For many, feeling unsafe is a way of life – we are in a continual state of fight or flight, one that we do not choose but somewhat is engrained and normalized into our existence.

What It Means to Live in Fight-or-Flight Mode?

Go into the restaurant, make sure you face the window, scan for exits, check your back seat, and be careful that your car handle might be laced with fentanyl; these were all my constant and everyday thoughts that navigated quotidian actions. Living in a constant state of fight or flight feels like your body and mind are always bracing for impact, even when there are no signs of danger. 

Everyday activities like walking down the street or sitting in a crowded place feel like danger is around the corner, where hypervigilance is your default. You're constantly scanning your surroundings, waiting for something to go wrong, which becomes exhausting. All this causes your nervous system to go into overdrive, always staying in survival mode, which affects your energy, focus, and overall health. Over time, it wears you down, making even the simplest joys in life hard to experience fully.

Your Environment Matters

Living in Puerto Rico provided a stark contrast to my experience in the United States. While Puerto Rico has high levels of gun violence, the nature of that violence differs significantly. 

Random mass shootings targeting civilians are rare, and the sense of community, which then leads to a feeling of a safety net, was drastically different. That sense of collective responsibility provides a layer of reassurance often missing in the U.S., especially in bigger cities.

To contrast, in Paris, we are lucky to have laws that control the ownership and usage of firearms. This, at least for me, decreases the feeling of imminent danger—at least the kind involving guns. Knowing that guns aren't widely available means that the likelihood of running into a firearm-related incident is much lower, which makes a big difference in how safe I feel. 

When being in an environment like this, you really reflect on what makes you feel safe or what makes you feel like your existence is in danger. For example, this reflection came to me while in the supermarket, as many supermarket shootings have happened in the United States in the last couple of years. This sense of security changes everything, from moving through the city to interacting with others. At least I feel more at ease to go to areas or areas where there are many people around.

Trauma's Lingering Effects

Living in a constant state of fight or flight isn't just a fleeting reaction– it leaves a lasting impact. Trauma can rewire the nervous system, making it harder to distinguish between real and perceived threats. Physically, this prolonged stress response can cause muscle tension, fatigue, headaches, digestive issues, and an increased heart rate. People with a "survival brain" may experience hypervigilance, difficulty concentrating, sleep disturbances, and heightened anxiety.

For women of color, these challenges are further compounded by systemic issues. Public safety measures often overlook or undervalue the safety of marginalized communities, forcing them to bear the weight of personal trauma alongside the broader inequities of a society that prioritizes some lives over others.

Hyper-Vigilance in Daily Life

Living in a constant state of fight or flight shapes how you move through the world. It forces you to scan for exits, keep an eye on your surroundings while in public transport, and weigh the risks of simply being in public. These behaviors might seem small, but their cumulative impact is significant. They drain emotional energy, heighten stress, and make relaxation feel impossible. Even now, living in Paris, I consciously avoid areas that feel too isolated and, subconsciously, those that are too crowded. The habits born out of fear are hard to unlearn, even when the environment changes.

What Can We Do?

To break the cycle of fear and fight-or-flight, we need action at both the personal and societal levels. As individuals, we can start by practicing mindfulness, engaging in trauma-informed therapy, and finding ways to rebuild trust in our surroundings. 

It's also important to educate ourselves and others about how trauma affects the body and mind and to create support systems that encourage open dialogue about safety and mental health. Recognizing when we're in survival mode and learning to move toward a state of rest and recovery can help us make decisions from a place of calm rather than fear. 

Here are some steps to take in your personal life if you are living with a "survival brain":

1. Acknowledge your situation
2. Practice self-compassion and forgive yourself
3. Prioritize self-care
4. Seek support
5. Create a routine
6. Focus on small goals
7. Limit exposure to stressors

On a societal level, real change requires addressing the root causes of fear and violence. We need stronger regulations to reduce gun violence, dismantle systemic racism, and create public safety measures that protect everyone, especially marginalized communities. 

We must push for policies that prioritize mental health resources, equitable law enforcement, and access to safe public spaces. This is about creating an environment where everyone feels secure both in the private and public spheres. Change starts with each of us, but it takes a collective effort to ensure a safer, more supportive society for all.