Oct 17th, 2022, 05:53 PM

Dear Social Media, We Need Some Boundaries

By Aditi Partha
Image Credit : Aditi Partha
All that glitters is not gold- social media is proof.

My phone lights up as I am decluttering my room and the familiar orangish logo of Instagram asserts itself on my screen. Opening the chat box, my eyes scan through compliments sent by my friends in response to a story I uploaded earlier that day. I answer mechanically, a mix of “haha thank you” and heart emoticons haphazardly flying from my fingers onto the chat box as I try to find the perfect spot to place my books. 

I don’t feel a shift in mood, which often accompanies being complimented. I don’t feel a surge of happiness. Why? Because everything about the story was carefully constructed. It was an assignment given to me, by me.  

Social media is a terrain where the structures we build are upon a foundation of inauthenticity. It’s not wrong or untrue because it is a reality of our lives. However, we must recognize that what we upload is but one facet of our otherwise deeply textured and layered existence and it is crucial that we use this knowledge to create the right boundaries to have a good relationship with social media. 

For the majority of social media users, a rigorous process of self-critique is a steady ritual prior to posting. We remold ourselves until we are happy and comfortable with a sanitized version to upload. As social media seeps through the cracks of people's free time , the pressure to be part of a community that cherishes ‘Instagram-worthy’ aesthetics seems to be at an all-time high.  

Image Credit: Unsplash / Charles Deluvio

 

Added to that is the addictiveness of social media usage. With algorithms getting hungrier, and content being increasingly curated to the consumer,  it is almost impossible to spend a day without going on social media.  

“The addictive quality of social media is definitely a threat towards wellbeing pillars such as self-esteem, relationships, and health. To name some of these effects: fear of missing out, isolation and poor social skills, anxiety, depression, false perceptions that others’ lives are better, trouble with eating and sleeping as well as decreasing physical activity. It is particularly worrisome at these ages (18-24) because all those mentioned areas of wellbeing constitute basic needs required to be cognitively available for academic work. This can compromise academic success.”  says Pamela Montfort, Student Guidance Counselor at AUP.

Image Credit : Aditi Partha / Screenshot of related topics under an article published by Forbes, titled “Celebrities Increasingly Ditching Social Media – Do Fame Seekers Need To Be On Twitter ?”
 

Introspection, self-evaluation and internal processing take too much time. It’s much easier to look at our “for you” page and let the glittering world of social media take over. The scary part however, is that what is now sitting in the driver’s seat, steering us onto unexplored paths, is known to be hazardous for our mental health and yet the views seem so lovely we can’t look away. 

Countless celebrities have gone on record to speak about the negative influence social media has had and the extent to which it has damaged their relationship with themselves. In April 2022, Selena Gomez, who has a massive following of 350 million on Instagram, admitted to not being on the internet for the past four and a half years, saying it has completely changed her life . She spoke about how moving away from social media resulted in her being happier and feeling more connected with people around her.

“For some reason, we have higher expectations of social media to be revealing and transparent than other forms of media. But social media is a construct like all media - it mediates and transforms our perception of reality. Social media platforms are highly persuasive forms of communication, which is why they've given rise to new forms of advertising and commerce, like influencers, but we should never conflate or confuse media representations with the real world. Social media users often strive for an impression of authenticity online and that's particularly important for Influencers who need consumers to believe in their brand, so we believe their brand endorsements. But the self that we create online is not the same as the self offline, and we should always bear that in mind,” says Dr. Hannah Westley, Program Director MA Global Communications at AUP. 

Social media is a beast that cannot be tamed. As it runs wildly through our lives, we must understand that the power lies with us. It took me time, effort and several failures, but I kept at it and figured out what works for me. My identity today is not one that is solely woven with social media threads. Instead I have distanced myself from it and familiarized myself with the silence its disappearance ushers. This has been instrumental for understanding my needs, nurturing my interests, and befriending and understanding my offline self. While I still do get influenced by online trends (my search history is a testament ), I am much more in control now of how much I consume content online. My hand is always on the door handle and I open myself to social media only when I choose to. It no longer floods my space and messes up my belongings. There is space for improvement no doubt (leakages occur) but it is essential to strive towards being the one who controls the entry and exit flows of social media waters.