Roommate Horror Stories
Living with roommates is without a doubt one of the best lessons you will ever learn about how crazy human beings actually are. Though many of us have minor conflicts with our roommates, some of us have full blown feuds that leave us packing our bags and to start looking for single room apartments. Over the past few weeks I have been speaking to people from all over the world about their terrible roommate experiences and have collected some of the worst stories imaginable, while you're probably fuming over the fact that your roommates have yet again not washed their dishes.
Story One: Do Not Disturb
Image credit: Flickr/Steven Depolo
Sleep is essential, however, for most of us in college it is more of a suggestion than anything else. Claire came to Paris on a semester abroad and moved in with her roommate Sarah. The two were polar opposites, Claire was very social and went out frequently and Sarah was quiet and introverted. They had an agreement about coming in late but things got a bit complicated. Claire tried her best to be as quiet as possible when she came home late but Sarah was also a severely light sleeper. One night, at around 1 a.m., Claire came home while Sarah was sleeping but decided to take a quick shower before going to bed. Clearly, Sarah thought she was making too much noise and suddenly the shower water became an arctic temperature. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the lights in the bathroom were also completely turned off, so Claire was left standing nude in a dark bathroom. She finally made her way out of the bathroom and into the bedroom where Sarah is 'sleeping.' With only one month left for the semester, both of them had a non verbal agreement to not speak about it and Claire opted to sleep by her friends after her nights out in Paris. Moral of this story: Never get between people and their sleep.
Story Two: Get ready … for some headphones.
Image credit: Wikimedia/Nevit
If you have ever lived in Paris you would know how thin the walls in the apartments can sometimes be. Maria found this out the hard way. One night during finals, she came home late and was preparing for some dinner and Netflix when all of a sudden she hears a door slam open accommodated by the sounds of two people furiously making out. She decides she will let this one fly with her roommate, mainly because of how tired she was, so she starts looking for her headphones. The noise gets louder and as she is rummaging through her drawers, she hears a male voice say, in the most sultry way, “Are you ready my love?” to which Maria silently replies, “I am absolutely not ready for this.” Safe to say, they did not hear her response and therefore did not stop. Maria was left, without headphones, to hear every bit of their love making. Moral of the story: Buy good headphones when moving to Paris for both long metro rides and thin walls.
Story Three: Craiglist Stealer
Image credit: Flickr/Will
Jenna was looking for an apartment when she moved to begin college and due to last minute decisions she found her roommate on Craiglist. We all know where this is going. Let’s call him Craig. If you were to write all the bad things a roommate could possibly be on a piece of paper, Craig would embody all of them. He was untidy, he stole things, and even made moves on Jenna. Here are just some of the highlights:
1. He did not like to use doors.
I am not particularly sure why an individual would hate doors but he did, and everytime he came home late, Jenna would just be walking to the kitchen or to her room and suddenly she would just see a human body literally fly through the window on the ground. Why Craig?
2. Loved to be naked.
Jenna would walk into the kitchen and Craig would be fully nude while making some eggs and casually making some polite conversation. Why, Craig, why?
3. Stole her stuff.
When things had finally become to much she decided it was time to leave. Her mother and sister came to help her and when they finally confronted Craig and told him to give back everything he stole. He returned: Clothes, pens and paper, knickknacks and an actual computer chair. Again why Craig, why?!
Moral of this story: Never find anything, roommates especially, on Craigslist.
So if your roommate forgot to take out the trash remember to be grateful that you don't share a room with any of these people, specifically Craig. I mean honestly who hates doors?!
