Tinderella and the Stigma of Online Dating
The way things are going, it seems the future will be filled with people who met online. Couples who meet the traditional way -- through family, friends, or a good old fashioned meet-cute -- will get the side eye. Everyone else will be swiping away or whatever new technology will enable us to do.
Until we get there, will online dating always carry a bit of a stigma? Or is even that beginning to go away as the younger generation grows up in a dating world where Tinder has always existed?
Online dating isn't really anything new, at least not in the sense of meeting a stranger by putting yourself "out there". It used to be through personal ads in a newspaper; today's it's through an smartphone app. In both cases, it's marketing, it's advertising, it's the ploy of the desperate who can't seem to get a date through regular means. Or is it?
It's hard to put a name to the first online dating site, after all just because they didn't exist for that explicit purpose doesn't mean relationships didn't form in AOL chatrooms and on Myspace. This idea of meeting a possible significant other, or even a possible day-to-day relationship, is so pervasive as to have been a part of the mainstream for a long time. Think of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail. There seems to be a general consensus that they first few popped their little heads up in the early 1990s, ready and raring for desperate singles to join their mix.
Today, as smartphones get even smarter and attention spans get shorter, it seems like dating websites won't last another decade. You'd be hard pressed to find a relatively young-something with love on their mind (or at least the next hook-up) and no dating app on their phone. Everyone knows someone who is in a committed relationship with someone they met on Tinder, though they themselves moan the lack of good choice available as they alternatively download and delete from one day to the next. According to Forbes, "about half of all single people use online dating at some point." This is actually not all that surprising. The single people not using online dating are probably younger than 13, older than 95, or that one random person who refuses to use the internet and lives in a shack somewhere in Montana. Pew Research found that 1 in 5 adults aged 25 to 34 years old have fessed up to online dating.
You've Got Mail.
Dating apps are pervasive because there's one for any user -- want to find a fellow dog lover? Tindog. Obsessed with the stars? Align focuses on connections between astrology and the zodiac. All of the choices, all of the variety, and it's available right there in the palm of your hand (or both hands, as it were if you've got one of the gigantic mini-tablet sized smart phones). That's not to say website-based dating has breathed its last breath. Some prefer the set-up and style of an algorithm-based site like OKCupid or even eHarmony.
It's not clear if dating apps will end up edging out desktop-based sites or if everyone will simply move over to a mostly app system (as most of the big sites also have apps availble). Personally, I think the majority of people using the internet to find someone will be doing it on their phones before too much longer. Regardless, the stigma around it is silly and that too shall pass as more and more people tell their children the story of how mommy and daddy met -- by swiping right.
