Toolkit for the Holiday Blues

I am thankful for my family, my health, my education, the roof over my head — and whatever I come up with every holiday to avoid speaking my mind. Omggggg,  I would often say during holiday living abroad, let me tell you about the time on Thanksgiving or Christmas when my family (inserts whatever pleasant memory I can dig up and piece together from the archive of my mind). 

This holiday, I am thankful for solitude as a means of healing, not of escape.

The holidays can be difficult for people who have experienced loss or trauma, for those without family, for those who do not have strong ties, or for those who just aren’t into the holidays. Robert Hales, chair of the UC Davis Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, says “holiday blues” may be a symptom major depression. He lists the common causes as time change (winter months), increased alcohol use, over-eating, lack of sleep, lack of exercise, over-scheduling, unrealistic fantasies about our families, and lack of time for oneself. 

I think it is important to monitor your behavior, and reach out for help if you need to. 

I am not doing the holidays this year! I felt good saying that! What are the holidays anyway (begins to conduct research on the meaning of each holiday).

It’s the system that created this obsession, Thanksgiving...hahahaha...Christmas Tis the season to be jolly fa la la la la or NOT

I ain't doing this holiday stuff…...Please, fa la la la la la, my (inserts whatever rational thought that justifies my decision).

I sit silent, tears stream down my face, I love the idea of family and community and I love dearly solitude. What is this anger, is it the lack of experience that my heart and mind yearn for on the holidays. I hug myself a little tighter today and I am thankful that I am letting go of the anger. Toni Morrison states that, “Anger ... it's a paralyzing emotion ... you can't get anything done. People sort of think it's an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling — I don't think it's any of that — it's helpless ... it's absence of control — and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers ... and anger doesn't provide any of that — I have no use for it whatsoever. Things may not always be how we imagine them but there is beauty in being open to the possibilities of anew!

Day 5: OPENNESS

I realized that I do not want to be in possession of thankfulness. I want to be the embodiment of gratitude. I want to experience gratitude for once alone and with others. Tears of joy, followed by pure laughter. I smile because I am choosing solitude and engaging with the other. Yes, it is possible.

1. Self Love

2. Truth

3. Create safe spaces to speak about your feelings

4. Yoga, Meditation, and Dance to my favorite song (in that order)

5. Bake a Cake
    
6. Eat the Cake (maybe not the entire cake LOL)

Photo Credit: bbcgoodfood.com

7. Go eat cake with others

8. CRY, LAUGH, AND DANCE, JOURNAL, PLAY GUITAR

9. Maybe don’t drink alone

10. It’s ok not to be ok, it's ok to reach out to people for help

11. You are showing up and that is good enough! GIVE YOURSELF A BIG HUG!