Nov 12th, 2016, 12:48 PM

The Beauty of Dating Yourself

By Aalyiah Heath
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Getting to know yourself is the best date you will ever have — before you start dating someone else.

As seasonal job applications open up during the holidays, so do "bae" and "cuddle buddy" applications. Netflix and chill dates are climbing the top date charts — and alone time is swiftly dropping.  

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Paris the city of love and romance. I have been living here for about three months and I learn something new each day. As I walk the streets I see beautiful couples and cafés seemingly made for two. When I first was in the transition to moving to this beautiful place, my friends expected me to fall in love with a French man and live happily ever after. They expected me to find my true love.

And and I did: it's myself. I realized...I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE.

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Okay, so I love people. But as we all know people have the ability to become very draining. I am a walking oxymoron. I am a social butterfly but I can also be anti social; maybe it's the Gemini within me. During a certain time, I begin to get this urge of wanting to be alone with a bowl of cereal and binge watch The Walking Dead over and over again.

To me, that's the perfect day. Though when necessary, I can be the life of the party.

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The purpose of dating is to get the chance to know someone. To access their personality, goals, values and see if they are compatible with yours. It also allows us to understand a person's likes, dislikes, background, passion and beliefs. This information is a major key to forming a bond, but what is the point of forming this bond with someone else if we do not even fully apprehend these attributes about ourselves?

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Sometimes it's easy to jump into a new relationship right after another relationship because we are petrified of being alone. Maybe if we knew ourselves to a greater degree we wouldn't be so fearful. We try to unravel everybody else except ourselves. How can we get to know ourselves when it is so easy to become comfortable with giving others all of our energy?

That awkward moment when we are alone, especially in public, we immediately run to our phones and get on social media to avoid looking lonely. However, posting on social media only reinforces our insecurities and the concept of "want". Wanting someone during the winter, wanting those relationship goals and future lifestyles, only to see that, during the process of "want", it's easy to get other peoples values and their imaginary confused with our own.

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It's a great time to get to know and date thyself! It is an empowering moment when you can walk independently with confidence. 

I never knew who I really was until I started to date myself. When the dating began I literally thought I was crazy because I actually enjoyed talking to myself. I did not have to interpret my feelings to someone else, which is beautiful, especially since I am easily misunderstood.

The most amazing part was that I ended up finding one of my life purposes through just simple dates. I had to drown out the background sound and listen to the words of my mind, which is difficult to do when the mind is always wandering on someone else whereabouts. We turn into detectives when we try to figure out "bae" and lose intrinsic values of thyself.

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I discovered new things while I was dating Aalyiah. As I began to try different things out I started to notice a pattern in my habits. I saw how affordable dating myself was because I was able to do simple activities that I loved. Always do things you cherish. Since you do not have to impress anyone by trying to be cute and eat cute, just do you!

The greatest achievement in life is conquering thyself. Our minds sometimes trick us into believing negative thoughts; but once I allowed my mind and heart to become on one accord I became confident and those thoughts became invisible. I was able to do things I normally would find frightening, and with each fear I overcame the less I battled myself to call and text someone over excessively seeing what they were doing (we all do it). It is okay to wrestle with yourself; every relationship has its fights.

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I learned how to say no! I am so use to being around people it was easy to get caught in the hype of people and them solidifying who I was. I had to master the art of finessing a NO. Not right now, maybe another day, rain check, because I knew that I had already scheduled a date with myself and one thing we all look for in a relationship is consistency.

I ensured that no matter what happened, I had to make myself more important than I have made those I have dated in the past. Therefore, make yourself your first priority!

It's a scary concept, feeling as though you will be dating yourself for eternity. Yet, when you glow and become in harmony with yourself,  you become like a magnet attracting positive vibes. At the perfect moment the right person deserving of the energy you created while dating yourself will come and appreciate it.

Put your phone on Do Not Disturb and let the dating begin!